Battle

bat·tle /ˈbad(ə)l/

verb

fight or struggle tenaciously to achieve or resist something.

It seems every since I opened up about the Molestation and Released the pain and other things I experienced because of it I have Felt so Free and Relieved in that area of my Life. I give God all the Glory for it because not only did He do it for me it did it for some of you as well and if it was only one person that got healed it was still worth it. Hallelujah!!

I now have a new Battle that I am dealing with in the Next Phase of my Healing. It’s more so a Battle with myself is that makes Sense. It seems opening up about the Molestation was far easier than the opening up about the Physical and Verbal Abuse. It’s like I made a commitment to God that I would do this yet as I try to write I fell so hesitant.

It maybe because of the time and era that I grew up in was“What Goes on in this House Stays in the House” you did not tell it to no one. We’ll that is now conflicting with my Healing Journey and the Commitment I made to God. Knowing I must obey God at all cost b/c my Healing is connected to my Obedience. Yet I’m battling with where do I start. So as of right now I’m in Prayer and allowing the precious Spirit of God to allow me the strength and boldness I need to go forth. I am reminded of Revelations 12:11 which reminds us we are Overcomers by the Blood of the Lamb and the words of our testimony.

So as I enter the next phase of Healing I will deal with the Abuse that I went through verbally and physically. I will be opened and share how I battled to Break the Cycle of Abuse and not Physically or Verbally Abuse my own Kids as they were growing up. I thank God for giving me that strength because Generational Curses are real and it’s easy to Raise your kids the way you were. I Praise God for allowing me to Remember the damage that was done to me and not impart that into my kids.

I know the First Battle is in my Mind but there also a Battle in my Heart. A heart that wondered for years as a little girl if I was loved, would it matter if I was no longer in this world. I mind that battled suicidal thoughts daily at 11 years old. Now here I am battling with releasing it all so that I can truly Heal once and for All. God is faithful and I know He will lead and guide me as I seek Him.